This weekend many of my friends from Davidson College will graduate. Seeing their excitement and apprehension has reminded me of my graduation and encouraged me to reflect on my first year of life as a college graduate. Congrats Wildcats!
10 Things I’ve Learned as a Freshman in Real Life
- Work doesn’t change every 16 weeks: Unlike school, in the real world your work does not change every semester. In college everything was always changing: new seminars, new research papers, new dorms rooms, new internships. Post-grad life involves lots of change, but not in the same way. The pace of a 9 to 5 is sustainable (unlike all-nighters and finals studying), and more consistent.
- There is no homework on the weekends: Thank God! There is nothing like leaving work on a Friday knowing you will not have to enter a library, crack open a textbook, or pour over Excel for an entire weekend. You can set aside your worries about upcoming tests, mounting reading assignments, and research proposals and just enjoy yourself. You have time to develop your own interests outside of school. (Remember what reading for pleasure feels like?)
- You can determine your own goals, schedules, and activities: After leaving a competitive academic environment like Davidson College it was a such a relief to be able to do what I wanted without worrying about how I'd compare with my classmates or how it'd effect my GPA. I no longer feel that I am on a structured timeline. We are all on our own paths, exploring our own interests, where we want to live, and who we want to live with at our own pace. There are no syllabuses or final exams. It's up to us to figure out what we want and how we'll do it. It's liberating, empowering, and terrifying.
- Your employment or lack there of does not define you: Sometimes the in between times are the most important. The summer after graduation, I did not have a job. This extra flexibility allowed me to spend time with my family and care for my grandmother before she passed away. It was a beautiful, life-changing experience that I would not have had if I had gotten a job immediately.
- There are no frat parties: There is no student union, sorority or fraternity organizing your social schedule. It’s up to you to figure out what you want to do with your free time. Most parties will not include Value Village-sponsored themes, red solo cups, and wine in a bag. It's time to explore craft breweries, go on MeetUps, and get creative.
- Do not watch Tiny Furniture: Stay positive about your post-grad life. Do not watch too much Lena Dunham. If you want, listen to Dr. Meg Jay's TED Talk, but don't get too stress about it.
- Office work can get dull: "Office brain. Office Brain. That's what they call it when you go insane." It’s important to spice up your work life by taking breaks, joking with your co-workers, and changing projects. I enjoy my work days much more when I use my standing desk, go for a short mid-day walking break, and eat lunch away from my desk. You'll spend a lot of time with your co-workers so get to know them over lunch or during happy hour. Studies show, that you are more efficient if you have friends at work. Since things do not change as much as they did in college, it’s up to you to take on new skills and challenge yourself. If you are bored, ask your supervisor for another project. They will probably be more than willing to help.
- I’d move to be with people I love: During my senior year, I noticed that people determined where they wanted to live based off their jobs and significant others. Friends, partners, and family members are extremely important and should be a part of your future plans. Although, our society emphasizes career climbing and resume building, you will not be happy unless you have a community of loving friends. In your early 20s, your career path can change every few months. Here is the secret: Your friends are often more steady, supportive, and life-giving than your new job.
- The definition of vocation: I have learned to focus not only on a career, but a vocation. Your vocation is your purpose for your life, not just your paid job. It can encompass what you do for pay, what you do for joy, and what you feel called to do.
- Good friends will be there for you along the way: In the last year, I have lived in three different states. Although, I live thousands of miles away from most of my best friends, I feel their support everyday. It's true. Snapchat, emojis, and voice recordings do make it much easier to stay in contact with your senior apartment mates and thesis buddies, but that's not what really keeps you close. What keeps you close are the long nights you spent together in the library, the time you held their hand while walking to the health center, and the bliss you felt while dancing to your favorite song together. Your college friends will stick with you because you helped each other become adults and loved each other through it. "It's not quite love and it's not quite community; it's just this feeling that there are people, an abundance of people, who are in this together. Who are on your team. When the check is paid and you stay at the table. When it's four a.m. and no one goes to bed... We don't have a word for the opposite of loneliness, but if we did, I could say that's what I want in life." -Marina Keegan
This is wonderfully wise. I can say that, even though I am your mother. ;-)
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